The Navi Yeshayahu (54:12) predicted and prophesied what was to be Hashem’s consolation of the Jewish People after the Churban Bais Hamikdash: "I will make your windows of jewels and your gates of carbuncle stones."
This biblical prophesy of Nechama, one of the seven Haftaros of consolation, the Shiva’ah DeNechemtah is discussed in the Gemorah Bava Basra (75a)
"This was a subject of disagreement between two Malachim: Malach Gavriel and Malach Michael, while some say the argument was between two rabbis, Reb Yehuda and Reb Chizkiya, the sons of Reb Chiya. One said this refers to the 'Shoham' stone, and the other says it refers to the 'Yashpeh stone.' So the Almighty said, let it be both of them."
It is quite rare to find a disagreement between Malachim about interpreting a prophetic verse of consolation in the Tanach. And it is even more remarkable that Hashem’s intervention was needed to decide the outcome. This would certainly seem to imply that Isaiah’s prophecy is very significant and critical with respect to the future consolation of our nation.
The Gemorah explained Isaiah’s prophesy that Hashem will console the Jewish People after being banished into Golus through the Yashpeh Stone which was one of 12 stones mounted on the Choshen Mishpat, the breastplate worn by Aharon Hakohein when he entered the Kodesh Kodoshim as a remembrance before Hashem. Each precious gem of the Choshen represented one of the twelve sons of Yaakov. The last of the Choshen's gems was the "Yashpeh" stone and Rabbeinu Bechaya cites a Midrash in Parshas Tetzaveh (28:20) which connects the Yashpeh stone with the Tribe of Binyamin.
This all begs the question: How does Biyomin’s Yashpeh Stone on the Choshen Mishpat bring about consolation?
We see that the Torah makes a veiled reference to Binyomin’s powers of consolation; in Parshas Mikeitz, (44:29) Yaakov Avinu states that if Binyomin were to go down to Mitzrayim and will not be returned to him “then you will have brought down my hoariness in evil to the grave.” Rashi explains,
“Now that Binyomin is next to me “I am consoled through him” over the death of his mother Rachel and over the death of his brother Yosef. So that if this one (Binyomin) were to die, it would seem to me that the three of them died on the same day.”
Yet, this Rashi is curious, as the Torah recorded earlier"(37:35) that Yaakov Avninu refused to be consoled over Yosef’s death:
“All his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him, but he refused to comfort himself”
Yaakov Avinu continued to grieve the entire twenty-two years of Yosef’s absence, and he refused to accept any words of comfort and consolation. Yet, we see later in Parshas Mikeitz, that Binyomin seems to be able to console, Yaakov Avinu, a man who refused to be consoled.
So we are left with a burning question: how exactly, did Binyomin console his inconsolable father Yaakov?
What makes this paradox even more curious, is that the Torah does not record Binyomin of ever speaking. He is literally silent when Yaakov Avinu debates with Reuvein and Yehuda whether to send him to Egypt or not, and he’s even silent when wrongfully accused of stealing Yosef’s goblet when his brothers accused him of being a thief, the son of a thief. (“You stole the goblet, and your mother stole Lavan's idols.”) Binyomin was silent. He’s not recorded in the Torah as having said a word.
The Torah does not give us any clues as to what words Binyomin said to his father to console his father. So how are we to discern the mystery of how Binyomin consoled his father when there are no words quoted to him, and there are no words attributed to him?
Further, we see in Parshas Vayigash (43:30) Binyomin’s enormous pain and agony and loneliness over the tragedy of his brother Yosef, that he named each of his ten sons for a different aspect of Yoseif's being torn away from him.
Rashi, quoting Chazal (Tanchuma), tells us that Yosef and Binyamin actually had a dialogue that precipitated Yosef's crying.
Yosef asked Binyamin: "Do you have a maternal brother?"
Binyamin answered, "I had one, but I don't know where he is." (Note that he did not say that my brother is deceased, just that he's missing.)
Yosef: "Do you have any children?"
Binyamin: "I have ten sons."
Yosef: "What are their names?"
Binyamin then gave him the names.
Yosef asked, "And what do these names mean?"
Binyamin: "All these names are after my brother and all that befell him."
Binyamin then proceeded to explain the ten names to Yosef (Rashi's source for the explanation of the 10 names is the Gemorah Sotah (36b)):
1. The first son, Bela, "because Yosef was ("nivl'a") "swallowed" up among the nations.
2. The 2nd son, Becher, because he was his mother's firstborn (Rachel’s "b'chor").
3. The 3rd son, Ashbel, because Hashem made him a captive (a contraction of "sh'va'o ell"),
4. The 4th son, Gaira, because he was a ("Gair") traveler or sojourner in a foreign land.
5. The 5th son, Na'aman, because he was ("Na'im") very pleasant
6. The 6th son, Aichi, because he was my brother ("Achi" means my brother).
7. The 7th son, Rosh, because he was my chief ("Rosh" means head or leader )
8. The 8th son, Muppim, because he studied from the mouth of my father ("Peh").
9. The 9th son, Chuppim,, because he did not see my wedding canopy (the "Chuppah"), nor did I see his.
10. The 10th son, Ard , because he descended among the nations ("Yarad" is the root "to go down").
The Maharal observed that of these ten names, five (Becher, Na'aman, Echi, Rosh, Muppim) described Binyomin’s perceptions of Yosef's greatness, while the other five (Bela, Ashbel, Gera, Chuppim, Ard) described Biymonin’s perceptions of the tragedies that befell Yosef. This contrast of Yosef's greatness and his mishaps only amplified the tragedy of his life and the intense pain that his brother Binyomin carried with him these 22 years regarding it. Binyamin missed his older brother Yosef so much and so intensely that he named every one of his 10 sons after Yosef.
And by revealing to Yosef the names of his 10 sons, Binyamin hinted that he was aware that Yosef wasn't killed by an animal, as his brothers told Yaakov Avniu. Binyamin knew very well the treachery that his brothers dealt Yosef, and to his father Yaakov. Imagine the resentment and distance that must have existed between Binyamin and his brothers. Imagine how lonely and isolated Binyomin was: he didn’t have his mother Rachel in his life, he didn’t have his big brother Yosef in his life, and he couldn’t really have a normal relationship with any of his other brothers - since he knew the secret of Mechiras Yosef.
We also see that Binyomin is himself a tragic personality, having lost 5 of his 10 sons. The census done in Parshas Pinchos, which lists the heads of the tribal households, names only five of Binyomin's sons, yet we know that Binyomin had ten sons, who were among the 70 "souls" that descended to Egypt. Rashi brings a Medrash in the name of Rabbi Moshe ha-Darshan that Binyamin's offspring were predestined for tragedy; that is, when he was born to our Matriarch Rachel, and she lay dying in childbirth, Rachel named him "Ben Oni"-- "the child of mourning" and this name was a prophetic reference to the loss of Binyomin’s 5 sons."
One can only marvel how such a tragic figure like Binyomin, a Ben Oni, a man predestined for the tragedy of bereavement, a man obsessed with his brother’s tragedy, could possibly have any room within him to console his father.
Enter the Yashpeh Stone: Rabbeinu Bechaya cites a Midrash which connects the Yashpeh stone with the Tribe of Binyamin. Yashpeh, explains the Midrash, is a contraction of the words "yesh" and "peh" - "has a mouth"; it was chosen to represent Binyamin because its name reflects a praiseworthy trait displayed by him.
"Binyamin knew that his brothers had sold Yosef into slavery, yet he did not reveal their shameful deed to their father, Yaakov. Although Binyamin had serious misgivings about whether he should withhold this information from his father ( which are reflected in the different colors of the jasper (consisting of red, black and green)) he could not foresee how Yaakov would react to such information, so he overcame his desire to reveal the secret. In the end he controlled himself, stopped himself, and did not reveal what he knew. The word “Yashpeh” may also be read, by rearranging the vowel marks, as `Yesh Peh' -- `there is a mouth.' Even though Binyamin was able to tell his father about his brothers' conduct -- `he had a mouth' -- he refrained from doing so."
Rabbeinu Bachye, Shemos 28:15, from Midrash Bereishit Rabba 71:5.
Although Binyamin was aware that his brothers sold Yosef into slavery, he did not reveal their actions to his father. Binyamin also knew to keep his silence when the goblet was found in his possession. For these reasons, the Yashpeh Stone was associated with Binyamin.
If Binyamin was being lauded for his silence, why was the gem called "Yashpeh" - "has a mouth"? Should the more appropriate name not be "Ain Peh" - "has no mouth"? What trait did Binyamin exhibit through his silence?
Binyamin's loss of his only maternal brother at the hands of his paternal brothers was a highly traumatic experience for him. The only one to whom he could convey his feelings was his elderly father Yaakov, yet he refrained from doing so. By assigning the Yashpeh as the gem to represent Binyamin the Torah is attesting to the fact that Binyomin’s abstinence from discussing his brother's fate to his father was not a result of his inability to divulge the information due to his trauma. On the contrary, "Yesh Peh", his ability to converse about the issue was indeed intact. Although it might have been of great emotional benefit for Binyamin to discuss the matter with his father, he remained selfless, as the knowledge that the pain his father would receive when enlightened as to his sons' actions would not permit Binyamin to speak.
Binyamin inherited the trait of discretion from his mother Rachel and passed in on to his descendants Shaul Hamelech and Esther Hamalkah, as the Gemara notes in Megillah (13b). Thus Binyomin’s mother Rachel did not reveal Lavan's plot to exchange her for Leah under the Chuppah; Binyomin’s descendant Shaul HaMelech did not prematurely reveal the fact that he had been crowned king of Israel; and Binyomin’s descendant Esther HaMalkah did not reveal her origin to King Achashveirosh until Mordechai HaYeHudi instructed her to.
This acute sensitivity and selflessness to protecting others from pain, even at great personal sacrifice, stems from Binyamin's perfection of his discretion. And therein lies the genius of his ability to console his father properly.
A person who has endured a terribly traumatic experience very often is unable to discuss it with others for fear that discussing it will cause him to relive the painful experience. The person in trauma is in fear that the listener will not be tolerant, in fear that the listener will not be understanding, in fear that the listener will not be patient with the the Avel’s grief and slow healing process, and fear that the listener might even be judgmental. Overcoming this fear and conversing with a person who truly cares about him, and demonstrates discretion, helps ease the burden of the trauma.
Staying within our own space and not invading the space of others is the key to this powerful sound of silence. Speech is the area through which we have the greatest difficulty in focusing upon the sensitivities of others. All too often we speak up because of the benefit we derive from what we are saying, but fail to realize the damage we do to others with the content, with the decibel level and even verbosity of our speech.
In fact, being silent in the right place shows tremendous sensitivity, an important component in consoling others. In Halacha, when one goes to pay a Shiva call to be Menachem Aveleim, one is to remain silent until the Avel starts the conversation.
Binyomin displayed a great sensitivity and longing for kinship, to have that relationship with the brother he never had. This is why, when it was time for Hashem to console Binyomin's tribe with the ultimate blessings at the end of the Torah, Hashem tells Binyamin: Because you were deprived of your brother for the sake of the formation of Klal Yisrael, and because you showed discretion and wisdom and held your tongue to protect your father from pain and because you consoled him, I will console you by naming you the "Yedid Hashem," Hashem's beloved friend, as Shevet Binyamin is called in Parshas V'zos HaBracha (33:12).
I promise you, says Hashem, you will never be alone ever again, Binyamin. The Holy of Holies, my place of resting of the Divine Presence, will lie in your portion of Eretz Yisrael. It is where the Divine Presence "will hover over for the whole day, and dwell amidst your shoulders." Says Hashem: No longer will you be lonely; I will be your friend, I will be your brother forever.
May we merit to always have our greatest Yedid, HKB"H, resting among us again, speedily in our days!
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On the 2nd day of Rosh Chodesh Adar II Monday March 3, 2014, we will commemorate the 10th Yahrtzeit of Hindy. Bilah HaMoves Lanetzach, Umacha Hashem Elokim Dimah Meyal Kol Ponim - May He swallow up death forever; may Hashem wipe away tears from every face (Isaiah 25:8) T'hei Nishmasa Tzrurah B'tzror Ha'chaim.
