Friday, November 14, 2014

Recent Media Headlines

 According to the New York Times, the UN Human Rights Commission (UNHRC) has formed an inquiry board to investigate possible crimes against humanity committed by the Israelites against the Egyptians during the parting of the Red Sea.

The High Commissioner, Navi Pillay, has issued the following statement:

"I am very concerned about the possible genocide committed by the Israelites.  Just look at the facts, how many Egyptians have perished, thousands, and how many Israelites? Zero. This is a clear case of use of disproportionate force".

       The Israelite leader, Moses Amramson, has commented that the Egyptians have enslaved the Israelites for centuries, have decreed to kill all Israelites male babies, and moreover all Egyptians were soldiers.

        Mrs. Pillay was not swayed by Moses' arguments, " The Israelites have sunk several chariots of United Nations Relief Welfare for Egypt (UNRWE) carrying babies.  I don't even want to discuss the environmental damage that the Red Sea parting has caused!" she said.
        The head of the enquiry board, Mr. Schabas, has issued a statement to the BBC, saying 
"My goal in life has been for years to bring Mr. Amramson to Hague.  One of his people,  David Ben Jesse, has brutally murdered an innocent Gigantism victim, Goliath, using a prohibited military technology, the sling."

Mrs. Pillay has added "At the very least the Israelites should have provided slings to the Philistines.  I plead the US to make sure this injustice would be remedied."

             A British MP, the Dishonorable James Galloway, has declared an Israelite-free zone (Judenrein) in his home town (AKA the Armpit). In response to the Guardian reporter query he said:   These Israelites are the worst human beings on the face of the Earth, I remember their cruelty to animals, specifically to lions in Rome".  "I am not against all Israelites" he said "only those who breathe air.I am OK with the other types of Israelites".

            "Free Gas" tweeted Rihanna, according to TMZ.  "The Egyptians have long suffered from the Israelites. Remember the yucky frog plague" she has said.  "Being slaves and attempt to kill all male babies does not justify such cruelty and atrocities"  stated Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem. 

            In an unrelated news the CNN has reported that the organization known as Amalek State (AS) has beheaded hundreds of thousands of Hitites.  Mrs. Pillay has commented that this is less of a concern as it does not really involve any human rights abuse committed by the Israelites.